Oh, you’re just saying that…

Being on a health and fitness journey means a couple things are bound to happen.  You are going to start looking and feeling better and people are going to start complimenting you.  I’ve been on the receiving end of some compliments lately and I have to say it feels pretty dang good! It’s definitely a mood booster when someone notices that your hard work is paying off.  But it’s also made me realize that I have a lot to work on in the area of both accepting and giving compliments.

I don’t know about you but my natural reflex when complimented is to reply with a self deprecating comment.  “You look great today!” is usually met with something like “too bad my hair didn’t go the way I wanted it too.” “The meal was excellent!” will be countered with “I think the salmon was overcooked.” With all my recent health and fitness changes my husband will compliment me on my “hotness” and I’ll point out the areas I need to work on.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  And to those that are giving us a genuine compliment?

Pick a word...any word

I know how frustrating it is for me when I compliment someone and they immediately shrug it off and act is if I just lied to their face.  So why do I think it’s acceptable to do it to someone else? For those of us struggling with self confidence issues I think maybe we are just so used to the negative self talk that it’s hard to hear positive comments from others without that inner voice taking over.  Not that compliments still don’t feel good! I mean come on…I’m a woman.  Compliments are always appreciated, but I just need to learn to accept them with grace.

Once I start thinking more about compliments, it also occurred to me how little I hand them out to my friends.  I have to say, that I have some pretty hot/smart/amazing friends! But I realized that I don’t really give them a lot of positive feedback because I just think they KNOW, and must be told all the time.  Well it was brought to my attention lately that, no, that is not always the case.  I was completely shocked when I heard that one of the most gorgeous people I know doesn’t get told she’s gorgeous and therefore doesn’t feel gorgeous! What’s up with that?

So I’ve given myself a challenge.  Not only will I bite my tongue and skip the negativity when given a compliment.  I’m also making a goal to compliment at least two people a day.  And no, not just on looks.  I think people need to be complimented on every area of their life! And to be complimented in a genuine manner.

So if I come over and give you a compliment, I want you to remember not only is it completely genuine, but also remember these steps:

  1. Smile
  2. Say thank you
  3. Zip it! 🙂

How about you? Do you find it hard to accept a compliment? Why do you think that is?

About Leesa D

Wife and mom of two crazy little monkeys. Trying to take on life's everyday challenges with love, laughter and a lot of impromptu dance parties!
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8 Responses to Oh, you’re just saying that…

  1. I do the same thing all the time! It’s as if I don’t want them thinking I’m conceited by saying “thank you.” I remember my dad telling me when I was younger that it’s rude not to accept a compliment politely, so I try to remember that. I think it’s just instinctive for some people to deflect attention though.

    • Leesa D says:

      So true! I think sounding conceited is a huge concern as well. I find with some people though when they argue against a compliment they sound as though they are fishing for more. Your dad was a smart man. We just need to accept the compliment and let it give us the boost that the giver of the compliment meant to give! 🙂

      • Completely agree with the fishing thing- that drives me CRAZY! And sorry for the delayed response…I just realized I haven’t been getting notifications of comment replies. Still learning…

  2. Pingback: Ass-backwards Compliment | What I Desired To Say…

  3. Pingback: The Need For Approval – Letting Go and Living Life. « Inspired Every Moment

  4. By the way, what’s a pingback?

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