Friday night was my husband’s company Christmas party. I don’t get to be fancy very often, so being able to break out the heels and fancy clothes gets me pretty excited. We get a night out, great dinner and good conversation. To top it off, this year my sister in law and brother in law took our kids overnight so we could stay out as late as we wanted AND sleep in! Woo hoo! I couldn’t believe that I actually slept in until 9:30 on Saturday! This is unheard of! Good times, good times.
The Christmas party also marked the end of my short term goal set out here. The gist of the goal was that I was to stick with the DAMY Program until the Christmas party and then I would allow myself to buy a hot little dress. If I did not complete my goal I would be raiding my own closet.
So the question on everyone’s mind (by everyone I mean like maybe my mom) is, did I complete my goal? The answer is….no. *cue sad music and groans of disapproval* I was really trying to pretend that I was being better than I was. And I wasn’t SUPER terrible, I did maintain, so I thought maybe I could still convince myself that buying the new dress was still ok. I mean really, I probably didn’t even have anything that would still fit me so I HAD to buy something, right? And then just before I was going to head out shopping, I was looking through my closet and found a dress I forgot I had. I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or ultra sad. I love the dress…but I was about to go shopping! I LOVE shopping! Alas, the guilt took over and I had to cancel my shopping plans.
So what happened? Why did I not complete my goal? Chocolate happened. I am addicted to dark chocolate. I think I need a support group. Preparation for Christmas is not helping this addiction. For the most part I still stuck to the eating plan. I was still eating clean. I was still exercising. But I was eating way too much chocolate. And my workouts just weren’t enough to compensate for that. So, here I am being accountable once again.
I asked myself why, when I love shopping so much, was it not enough to help me stick with the program? Where did my motivation go? And I think the problem, which isn’t actually a problem in itself, is that I am for once quite happy with myself. My clothes fit, I like what I see in the mirror. So it’s hard for me to have the same kind of motivation to kick it into high gear when I’m quite comfortable where I am. The problem though is that I get TOO comfortable where I am and start going back to where I used to be. I still have goals. I still have lots of areas that I would like to improve. I just need to learn to push myself past that “comfort zone”.
I’ve now started my half marathon training (more to come on that later) so I’m hoping that it will help me keep my head in the game a bit more. Because in order to complete that goal I am going to need to give my head a shake. When I don’t eat properly, I feel it when I run. Back on track once more! I’ve got to do this!
Although I didn’t get to buy a new dress, and although I didn’t complete my short term goal, I would like to leave this on a positive note. I was looking back at pictures of me wearing this dress two years ago and I must say that I’m still happy with the improvement. So I’m going to use that as more motivation to stick with the plan and not go back to where I once was.