These last two weeks of my half marathon training have been full of ups and downs once again. Why must I always doubt my abilities? One minute I feel on top of the world with my running and the next I’m beating myself up for *gasp* struggling through a run.
Week 3 was a cold and slippery week so three out of four runs were done on the treadmill. Those treadmill runs really have a way of messing with my mind. I know some say they feel they can run faster on a treadmill. That it is actually easier to keep a faster pace since you have the belt moving with you. I, on the other hand, seem to have a much harder time even keeping a slower pace than normal. Nevermind the fact that it’s hard to even get motivated to step on the treadmill. But, I stuck it out and with the help of a little 90210 (have you SEEN Liam’s abs???) I managed to get through a couple 8ks and a 5k on the treadmill.
Week 4 was a much better week. The weather allowed me to have three out of four runs outside. I felt so good after Tuesday’s run! Outside once again, enjoying the cool and fresh air. I even got to try out my Bondiband Ponytail hat for the first time! I was super pumped! And then came Thursday…bad weather forcing me to the basement for a tempo run on the treadmill. The run started out alright but then the cramps hit. Ouch! Cramps so bad that I had to stop. Apparently my ovaries now hate me and I now experience some very lovely ovulation pain most months (TMI? But seriously, does anyone else get this??). This month was about the worst. I ran 2k and got off the treadmill mad. Upset at myself for not wanting to do the run in the first place. Upset that my body wouldn’t even let me finish the run. I called my husband who, being my best supporter and encourager, talked me down. He encouraged me to just get on the treadmill and walk. If I can’t do anything else, a walk would still feel better than sitting on the couch. So true. And if he wouldn’t have said it I probably would have spent that hour sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself. And probably snacking on foods that I didn’t need, just because I was so mad! Instead, I managed to finish the run, not as intended which was 8k with 5k @ tempo pace. But I managed to get in five 1k intervals at tempo with one minute walk breaks in between. Even though I was still disappointed that I didn’t get in the full run, he was right. I felt much better.
Saturday I was able to help volunteer for my first race ever: The Rogers Run for L’Arche. (more to come on that later). After being ultra motivated by the half marathon runners I set out to run my 5k by the river. Man that felt good! I picked up my pace a bit, was feeling awesome, and then this guy just ran by me like I was standing still. I chalked it up to the fact that he mustn’t have been running as far as me ;).
Sunday’s 10k made me a little nervous. I haven’t run a 10k distance since before I was injured. In fact I think I’ve actually only run a 10k twice before. So having it as my first 10k post injury and having to run on all the hills in my neighbourhood, I was just a little nervous. But you’ll never get better if you don’t push your comfort zones a little, right? So push I did. It was a beautiful day for a run. I was in a great mood. I waved and smiled to all runners that passed and enjoyed the waves and smiles in return. The run was all uphill for the last 5k with a nice big hill at 9k. And honestly, I loved it! It felt fantastic to run the hills and know that I could do it. And not only did I do it, but my pace was faster than the 8k I did the week before and I didn’t feel like I wanted to keel over! I was so happy to finish the week off on an extremely high note.
I think these two weeks were just another lesson in trusting myself and trusting my training. I have so much self doubt in all aspects of my life. And sometimes it’s hard to see past the bad situation you are currently in and realize that tomorrow is a new day. A fresh start. Whether I’m having a bad day with the kids or struggling through a not so great run. It’s only one day. It’s only one run. Shrug it off. Hit reset. Make the next one better. And when you are having a great day with the kids, or you are in the middle of an amazing run. Cherish it. Soak it in. And realize that, yeah, it’s all worth it!